she-male aka Cera

So Michael Cera, may I call you Mike? ok cool. So Mike. whats happenin? I pretty much have to see your newest film thats coming out. Year One. yeah. It looks amazing times 12.

But I couldnt help notice that you seem to have gottten the worst make-up crew ever. or best. I cant decide.

You see, you pretty much look like a woman. a very unattractive one at that. And normally Im lusting all over your awkwardness.

what the flip happened?

I guess the moral of the story is: dont piss off make-up crew. seriously.

Im just going to have to post this picture to make up for it....

look at me with my vintage camera looking fetch.
atta' boy...

ANYWAY. since I got that off my chest, I have some GREAT news. SO GREAT that I feel like using RANDOM capitol LETTERS. wtflip...

Since Ive been taking break often on blogging for my more professional writing I came up with an idea: another blog.

I havent decided what its going to be called or exactly whats going to happen within it... BUT I do have some ideas:

1. what Im writing about. how its going, do I have writers block, am I sad that I killed off yet another handsome charactor, etc.

2. Ill put quotes from my current writing.

3. you will have the job of editing and telling me what you think about said quotes.

4. Itll be a party. and you will love it. and I will be the queen of the blogiverse! muhaha

ahem.

SO thats my idea, what do ya think?

Xk

**UPDATE**

so I made my new blog: http://seriouslykortnii.blogspot.com/
but you can still tell me what you think!

I less than three you Sam

Are you sad I missed Creeptastic Thursdays FIRST EVER day?
yeah me too.

Are you lol-ing about the picture to the right?
yeah me too. thank lauren for that.

Are you mad that I dont have much to say in this post today?
yeah me too.

Are you wondering who the hell this bitch-ass Sam person is that left me a comment on my last post strictly saying "whatever" as a comment?
yeah me too.

Well [mr? ms?] "Sam", if you do return, I have only this to say to you: thank you for commenting on my blog with your snarkyness. you pretty much made my night. hells to the yes you did. I dont even care that you were a jag and just said "whatever" so long as you were here, and left a mark. I lol-ed long time. I heart you big time Sam. who ever you may be.

I dont care what youre saying, so long as its about me. its the truth. cause remember what I said ages ago? I dont care what people say. and hate mail only makes me lol, so honestly, keep it coming. I love to laugh and it only makes you look ignorant. pretty much a double win.

Xk

Cat food, Sex, and Freeze

you know youre hungry when: you open up a can of wet [nasty vomity looking] catfood and for a split of a split second it smelled good in your nose. yeah. Im freaking gross.
Im almost sorry that I feed him this sick goo. but he gobbles it up just fine, so I dont mind. I just tend to sit downwind from it while he eats. s'all good.

And for the record, Jimmys food does not look nearly as sickening as this picture I found on wikimedia. thats vomit worthy even for cats.

Oh! and before my rage cools, If I have to see one more KY Intense Commercial I swear I will flip out. You can almost legally admit me. yeah. So you cant advert cigarettes because thats bad for children to see and want. ok. cool. Soooo. whats the next best thing? Oh I know! lets advertise SEX! wtflip...

Anyway, I was watching the local weather person lie about how its going to be nice out for a change and I noticed her name. Amy Freeze. can we say irony? especially seeing as here in Chicago, it is about 85 degrees out. yep im in shorts and a tank top. and its spring. is this hell on earth? cause I kind of like it.

AND! hold your hats folks, cause Cookie [my horse for you lames that dont know] and I had our first horse show of the year! this past weekend, Cookie did so well. Im so pround I almost cried. plus I was dead tired which is when I tend to get whiney and moany...but still! We placed amazingly in all of our halter classes, even picking up two Grand Champion ribbons! CH-eahhhh! shes amazing, we're amazing. end of story.

Oh and since I havent posted and pics of him lately, here is another creepy picture of the lovely boy you all [want to] know I found on celebuzz.com:

Yeah....he needs to either stop making that face or do that all the time. it made me lol long time.

Xk

Ps. AUNT. A TRUE LOVE STORY. READ. UGH. [scroll down some til you hit pics of Cookie and I]

Pss. isnt it supposed to go pps? whatever.

Psss. Ive no idea where I found the KY picture. and frankly, I dont care. it bothers me. end of.

dear myspace, WTFLIP?!

so apparently bacon is for lovers and crossdressers need an adventure in love...allow me explain:

there I was checking my myspace [or gayspace if you will] putting out a harmless bulletin to let my peeps know what was on the upness in my life. and what happens to be lurking at the left side of my screen while about to hit post? a simple white background advert with big blue bold letters telling me: "Bacon is For Lovers" and nothing more. no pictures, no weird image of Obama doing the jig, no blinky lights that give seizures. nothing.
is myspace getting mixed signals from my posts? did I make them angry? is this a just a sick joke? I dont know. and did I dare click this and link to the unknown interwebs site? Hell no!
but I did, however hit send on my bulletin and as I scanned through it [checking for mistakes that were not there. flawless!] and yet another bewildering advert of the same font and form hits the right side of my page: "Single Crossdressers looking for Love! come and find your New Adventure!"

is it ok that i lol-ed? cause I did.

and "if a girl wears guy clothes is she [he?] a crossdresser?"
"no, shes a tom-boy"
*face-palms*
thanks Luka...

Oh and go to zombo.com
its the bomb diggity
[more like the bomb wtf-ity]
enjoy!

Xk

ps. I know youre imagining crossdressers mouthing bacon together right now. and for that I am sorry.

pss. I am in no way against crossdressers and/or bacon. so hate mail is not needed, but will make me and everyone else lol, so go ahead and send some.

psss. *photos found on photobucket* as always...

Im seeing things...not ok

So I noticed that I have 140 views on my blogtastic blog here.

yeah cool, go me.

...and like 3 comments.

way to be heard readers!

Oh and my twitter is being gay hardcore today.

I post, but nothing shows up.

wtflip!?

I hope P.E. got my reply...cause hes the bomb.

and one of the only reasons I go on twitter...

Anyway, what I actually came here to complain/talk about today is my pictures.

No. not my photos that are amazing and soon to be on this site to Ooo and Ahh at,

Im talking the cheesy ones I put in my posts to spice things up.

see those bananas down there on yesterdays post? yeah theyre cute huh.

why the flip is there a box around them?

that looks tacky.

it wasnt there when I previewed the post.

its not there on photobucket.
but its there on the page!

I didnt ask for this!

am I crazy?

am I the only one seeing these annoying stupid boxes around my posted pics?

make them go away and youll make my day.

Xk

heres another photo for kicks and giggle while I figure how the hell to get those boxes to vanish.

you can swoon, hes used to it

[how does this lovely face...]

[[that looks REALLY bored. AGAIN! hugs? kiss? just asking...]]

[look like this?! stop that, cause I dont know if I should lol or scream...]

*photos found on photobucket*

talkative tummy

so I was hunting in the kitchen cause my tummy was yelling at me and realized. I have no food. :'[
I talked to Luka about it, and he replied "what do you want me to do? pull a banana out of my ass?"
uhm no. but if you could buy me one that'd be great. loser.
youll be hearing more from him Im sure, hes a riot [not]



anyway, it reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend the other day when my tummy got angry like it usually does around noon when I skip breakfast.
"but kortnii its the most important meal of the day" go slap yourself in the face for me. :]

we will call them: THEM
and we will call me: ME
heres how it went [via msn]

THEM:brb i must stuff my face with edibles to fill my stomach

ME: i wasnt talking.....speed of movment. anyway, eat some cardboard. i mean. its edible in a way... i always wondered...

THEM: okays i am back and what do you wondere

[SKIPS RANDOM ARGUMENT]

ME: no thats not it. i was wondering what cardboard tasted like

THEM: cardboard [<-SMARTASS]

ME: and if i made a cardboard pizza look realistic enough, could i stomach it? prolly not. but could i convince soemone else to? maybe

THEM: probably tastes like cardboard LOL if you punch a cat is it called [EDITED FOR SICK AND NASTY CONTENT]

ME: er........thats just sick

THEM: legit question O_O lololol jk

ME: anyway. i need it multi-colored so i can make some faux pizza to feed one of my vict...er friends :] where do you get cardboard?

THEM: boxes

ME: where do i get them.... cant you like...steal some form the back of the store? but then they are all mashed. hmm. research time!

THEM: moving place storage unit they sell them

ME: i want em fo fwee

THEM: garbage? [<-ew]

ME: i mean, seriously. who buys boxes? no one. unless youre dumb and dont know where the free ones are at. ill ask my dad :]

THEM: around here we have dumpsters used only for carboard

ME: i dont want smelly ones...you cant try to eat those..... oh. well. ill ask my dad :] he'll know

and my father DID know. you can get them at the store for free [at most places], but you have to reserve them. like, "oh yes, Id like to reserve some boxes please, whats the special? yes sir 20 will be enough. thanks."....whatever

the point is: I think of really stupi..er special things sometimes

Xk

ps. this is not ok....->
*[creepy]photos found on photobucket*