Confession: I want to feel beautiful

Confessions are hard to make.
but I am willing to make one.

you ever get dolled up just to feel....sexy?

you ever put every lock of hair in place just to feel....pretty?

you ever throw on your best jeans and favorite shirt just to feel...beautiful?

you ever slip on those heels you only worn once just to feel...confident?

you ever stand in the mirror and do all sorts of poses just to feel...modelesque?

cause I do.

And I know we all do it. but why?

Personally its so I can look in the mirror and say "hey, you're kinda cute." and not feel like I'm lying to myself.

Xk

Ps. if any guy tells me they DON'T behave in similar ways they are a god damn liar. end of story.

talkative tummy

so I was hunting in the kitchen cause my tummy was yelling at me and realized. I have no food. :'[
I talked to Luka about it, and he replied "what do you want me to do? pull a banana out of my ass?"
uhm no. but if you could buy me one that'd be great. loser.
youll be hearing more from him Im sure, hes a riot [not]



anyway, it reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend the other day when my tummy got angry like it usually does around noon when I skip breakfast.
"but kortnii its the most important meal of the day" go slap yourself in the face for me. :]

we will call them: THEM
and we will call me: ME
heres how it went [via msn]

THEM:brb i must stuff my face with edibles to fill my stomach

ME: i wasnt talking.....speed of movment. anyway, eat some cardboard. i mean. its edible in a way... i always wondered...

THEM: okays i am back and what do you wondere

[SKIPS RANDOM ARGUMENT]

ME: no thats not it. i was wondering what cardboard tasted like

THEM: cardboard [<-SMARTASS]

ME: and if i made a cardboard pizza look realistic enough, could i stomach it? prolly not. but could i convince soemone else to? maybe

THEM: probably tastes like cardboard LOL if you punch a cat is it called [EDITED FOR SICK AND NASTY CONTENT]

ME: er........thats just sick

THEM: legit question O_O lololol jk

ME: anyway. i need it multi-colored so i can make some faux pizza to feed one of my vict...er friends :] where do you get cardboard?

THEM: boxes

ME: where do i get them.... cant you like...steal some form the back of the store? but then they are all mashed. hmm. research time!

THEM: moving place storage unit they sell them

ME: i want em fo fwee

THEM: garbage? [<-ew]

ME: i mean, seriously. who buys boxes? no one. unless youre dumb and dont know where the free ones are at. ill ask my dad :]

THEM: around here we have dumpsters used only for carboard

ME: i dont want smelly ones...you cant try to eat those..... oh. well. ill ask my dad :] he'll know

and my father DID know. you can get them at the store for free [at most places], but you have to reserve them. like, "oh yes, Id like to reserve some boxes please, whats the special? yes sir 20 will be enough. thanks."....whatever

the point is: I think of really stupi..er special things sometimes

Xk

ps. this is not ok....->
*[creepy]photos found on photobucket*

copy/paste days

each day I take a new picture

and I think: everything looks exactly the same

I look a month back or more

and I think: who is this girl I see?

every moment Im waiting for a big change in me.

inside and outside

I see nothing.

I feel nothing.

yet something is always different

[chameleon girl: everchanging with her surroundings without knowing/trying?]

Im nothing like I was even a year ago, I hardly recognize myself

who am I?
I take another photograph

each time you look into the mirror you see nothing new.

you feel nothing new.

you hear nothing new.

but you are new.

you never think you are changing until you see an old photograph

boy, how time flys & how we grow

Xk
*photos found on photobucket*