Confession: I want to feel beautiful

Confessions are hard to make.
but I am willing to make one.

you ever get dolled up just to feel....sexy?

you ever put every lock of hair in place just to feel....pretty?

you ever throw on your best jeans and favorite shirt just to feel...beautiful?

you ever slip on those heels you only worn once just to feel...confident?

you ever stand in the mirror and do all sorts of poses just to feel...modelesque?

cause I do.

And I know we all do it. but why?

Personally its so I can look in the mirror and say "hey, you're kinda cute." and not feel like I'm lying to myself.

Xk

Ps. if any guy tells me they DON'T behave in similar ways they are a god damn liar. end of story.

And suddenly I felt just fine...

I had the worst day of my life yesterday. and I normally dont complain. You know this.
Nothing was going right and thats the truth. Nothing could pick up my spirits because:

FML. seriously.

Not my friends lol worthy jokes, our bad mouthing the ones who bad mouthed us that day. [which I normally dont partake in but I was furious, dont judge.] not my usually calming horse. Not a phone call from Luka. nothing seemed to be working.

So I said "F this." and went home, tore off my dirty clothes, ate my amazing Veggie five dollar foot long Subway Sub, went online, read some lusty FanFic and then saw this picture.

And suddenly my day was much, much better. end of story.

Xk

in need of assistance

There I was on the toilet. Doing my thing. and then to my own horror I realized: I was out of TP.

I looked to my left. wall. my right. tub. I was surrounded by everything that was not about to be used as a wiping utility.

My stupid self forgot to put the TP on the TP shelf next to the toilet. Instead, for some odd reason, I decided underneath the sink would be a better spot this time. *facepalm*

what did I do?

did I dare get up and shrug it off and go natural?

teach the cat to fetch?

waggle across the two feet my arm couldnt reach and grab it myself?

I did all I could do: I called J.

THIS is why I need a dog. so I can teach it to save me when the TP is not where it should have been all along.

"go lassie! kortnii is trapped in the potty! get the TP asnap!"

Unlike almost everyone else in the world, Ive never had a dog before. So I am on a hunt to find me one. I am trying to get ahold of a Sheltie Resuce Center for they are the size and playfulness I am ready to handle according to google. and I think they will be nice to the cat. who knows.

the real question is: will the cat be nice to the pup?

Speaking of the cat [yeah its an animal day, get over it] everytime I walk up to my cat when he is sprawled out on the bedspread, he gives me this look like,

"oh god. not again. really? youre waking me up again? as soon as I fall asleep you have to rub me awake to tell me how cute I am. As if I didnt already know."

and sort of glares at me. Yeah. of course it makes me lol. but it also freaks me out that I can almost have conversations with his eyes. its. not. ok.

and no. Im not lonely. I just have a high respect for my animals. end of story.

Xk

Ps. Have you noticed something missing? yeah. me too.

my first creeptastic thursday has still not been able to air.

why not, you ask?

well I took a 5 day vacation. no. no where fun. a vacation in my own home. without internet use.

yeah I cried a little.

But it turned out to be a good thing. I got a lot of writing and art and music done while I was on my mini vacation. Even a new idea for a non-vampire related novel/story. yeah Im freakin amazing.

pps. yes. I have long ps' sometimes. get over it.

Brain Blah

Can we say brain blah? seriously.

I dont get writers block. I have plenty of things to go on and on about. I just dont feel like writing any of them down.

Sorry bloggers, I think I might need a break.

"but kortnii, you dont even post that often"

more often than nothing at all isnt it?

I just need more progress on my real writing. no offense bloggers, I do love telling you all the random things that go on in my head. but Ive really had some amazing ideas these days that need a little more attention than usual.

hey, I mean, what if its my big break? youll get to point at the TV saying "oh yeah, I follow her blog! we are like...so e-close its tear worthy"

It wont be a long break. it might not be a break at all. Prolly just wont blog til Thursday. so I can FINALLY hold my first Creeptastic Thursday event of a blogtime. yeah, you dont even have to say its about time, cuase I know it is.

Oh and report on Boo Radley house: I tried to get a photo of it, and then the owner like...peeked through the window. yeah. I ran. almost screaming. mostly laughing. Ill go back later.

Xk

Dont bury me

IM STILL NOT DEAD YET!!!! [good song]

Anyway...

Ok blog spot dot com, blogger dot com, google run blog thingy, whatever, here I am. I know, I know, my absence has brought a virtual [and actual] tear to your blog eyes, but I am back! with more to tell than ever before.

So the main two reasons I was away, [I know youre itching to know] are as followed:

IM BUSY! end of story. for now.

and

The laptop I use had run out of its free trial usage of Mcafee virus protection crap so I didnt dare go online while un-protceted. and was too lazy to download any other software myself in my spare time. sorry for being cheap. whatever

Anyway, do you also wonder how many times I actually say anyway? well alot. end of story. Anyway... what was I up to while I have been away for so long?

1. Trying to get a job. yeah, can we say unsuccesful? its tiresome. Though I may just go to work full time for my photographer friend, but she kills my brain cells with her drama. love her to death! but shes killing me.

2. Training my horse. No Im not a southern kind of girl, I dont even wear cowgirl boots until Im on said horse. I shower, brush my teeth, Im not attracted to my cousins, But I do have a horse named Cookie [youll hear more about her Im sure] and I have been training her myself these days. My Aunt normally does... but she cant seem to fit us into her scedule very often and even when she does get a chance to ride/train my Cookie, the horse wants nothing to do with her. she loves me more, naturally.

3. Trying to move into my own apartment. Which is looking great! and Ill be living as close to my horse as I could possibly get. can you spell excited? E-X-C-I-T-E-D. good job! you can have a cookie later.

4. Ive been kidnapped! I always love to see my close friends as much as possible, but never seem to have the time. so they make time for me! bunch of brats come to my home and take me places on a regular basis it seems. Im not complaing.

5. Ive been writing. yes, as most of you Dont know, I am an aspiring author. novels, hort stories, poems, songs, the works. Ive been way too inspired these days not to take the time to work on my material and turn dreams to ideas, ideas to paper, paper to stories, etc. its been magical.

6. I went to a bridal shower, yeah. tell me about it. you cant? well Ill have to tell you THAT horrific story of a weekend next post.

7. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST [drum rolls] I DYED MY HAIR PURPLE!! yeah, I know, youre jealous.
no, its not my whole head, its just under my bangs/fringe/whatever.
yes I love it.
No you cant copy me by doing a different color.
Yes Im sure.
No its not a compliment to me if you do.
no.
dont.
do.
it.
and yes Its beautiful, ogle below.

no, it does NOT have green on top! the green from my room walls reflected off the shiny-ness of my tresses. so hush you.

Id give the grand details to more of my outings lately, but Ill let your mind rest for now.

Xk

p.s. dont cry, I promise Ill return this time.