Wednesday, April 15, 2009

the pefect flaw

I know, I know. what could faux vamp teeth have to do with this post? well, for starters, I have an obsession for vampires [way before the time of twilight thank you!] so even if I put vampire related objects in my post, it doesnt mean its always going to pertain to the actual writing. end of story. these fake teeth might be fun but, they are also of my interest these days...sort of.

you people dont know, I have a flaw. shocking, I know. its not one I voice to people very often [or ever].

I dont know if my friends notice or pass it off as something else, but I dont smile unless forced to. No Im not some sad act human classed emo for the sake of attention. Im actually a very happy-go-lucky person in the realm of friends and family. Im loud, obnoxious, and told Im a bit of a psycho...but its all fair fun. The reason I dont smile is: I have crooked teeth.

As I sat in front of one of my closest friends [we will call her M] I asked, "M, be honest. Can you tell how crooked my teeth are when I talk?"
she looked up at me from her lunch, dumbfounded. As her tiny eyebrows pulled together, she let out a quick breath of a laugh and replied "I didnt even know you had crooked teeth Kort."

well that was a shocker.

All my life growing up I literally trained myself how to talk without moving my lips much, in order to keep the pesky flaw in order. Ive always hated my pearly whites, so much so that I would cry over the idea of being stuck with them this way forever. My family did not have the funding for braces. it was a nightmare.

No one could love someone with crooked teeth, I thought, its not possible.

Well growing up, I found out that though the rumour is, that is definitely untrue.
Ive had a boyfriend[s], he didnt hardly notice until I nagged about it one night and made him practically stick his face up my mouth and get a real good look. [quick advice: If your boyfriend doesnt notice your flaws. dont point them out ok? it doesnt do any good. end of story.]

But I still cant be comfortable with my own smile.

So I decided: Im getting Veneers [aka lumineers].
For those of you lamers who dont know what these "Veneers" things are, they are permanent false teeth. Popular with celebs these days, within a few minor surgeries [and a lot of major cash dropping] you can have the perfect smile youve always dreamed of.

thank. god. [if there is one]

"kortnii, everyone has flaws. its really no big deal. Dont waste the money on making yourself what society classes as beautiful."

I wouldnt be lusting so intensly over the idea if I wasnt in pain. my jaw, gums, and teeth themselves literally ache 24/7. this forces me to suffer mood swings, headaches, lack of sleep, the works.

My imperfect self doesnt normally bother me, but this one is a pain in the ass...or mouth in this case

I suppose when you think about it, Veneers are the perfect flaw. One of my biggest problem areas is going to be covered up with the illusion of being birthed perfect, shiny, and white.

Me, Kortnii, with perfect set of chompers. Ill never get used to the thought.

Will I even like them? Oh god yes, of course!...but will the rest of the world? does it matter? what if they are too perfect, too surreal to be realistic? will I scare away from the whole ordeal?

no. of course not. end of story.

Anyway, for my next post Im asking a question. It something Ive always thought about, now I know my answer.

Is it possible for you to fall in love with more than one person at a time?



Caitra said...

I can understand that if I could afford it I would get my teeth fixed. I was lucky enough to have perfect teeth until a few years ago when all four of my wisdom teeth decided to show up impacted and push into my other teeth and make them wonky. It would cost a bomb to fix them and to get the wisdon teeth removed I run the risk of lossing feeling in my mouth :(

I say go fo r it if it makes YOU feel happier thats all that matters

Kortnii said...

thats what happened to me! i already had ...ok teeth. but my wisdom teeth came and now there is no room in my mouth for all my teeth! they are constantly moving and nudging one another. its painful!

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