they see us winnin' and they hatin'

watched the MTV Movie awards for 2009 one time and a half...

my thoughts?:

I want piano cat at my wedding. for reals.

Robert Pattinson is hot. just saying...

Kristen Stewart looked sober. thumbs up.

Peter in the 360 pic was lol worthy to the max hardcore. didnt see it? click this

Megan Fox looked like a scuzz dog. take a shower girl.

Cam has too tight of pants on.

Robert is sweet for thanking his stunt double for doing all the work for him to win that award.


Andy is the best host MTV awards has ever had. ever.

Zac Efron has a mop on his head..or a dead jellyfish nested there.

Eminem still sucks. yawn.

Taylor Launter was nominated even though he only had like 5 mins in the film. thats cool.

The popcorn man-guy-thing scares me. a lot.

The gum commercial guy talks like he has a ten foot wad of gum in his mouth.

Commercials piss me off.

Paris Hilton needs to get over herself. bff deal. no one cares. shoo. go be-friend a grizzly bear.

Harry Potter is so last year. but Im so stoked.

Bruno looks just like Borat. which was gross more than funny. but Ill so go see it.

Didnt need to see Brunos ass though.

I dont know if Eminem was in on the skit deal. he might sue. who knows.

Although Eminem DOES promote bum in face doesnt he? who. knows.

Harry Potter kids look smokin. but are still so last year

the Tech movie award guy needs to stop humping his award. or breathing. whatevs.

you cant say dick on tv unless youre live.

Sandra Bullock is gorgeous. and my fav actress since the dawn of my time. Id be fake lez with her.

And Sandra made me lol long time when she groped Kristen.

Kristen is a tease. end of story.

The cover of jizz in my pants, boat, etc, was NOT funny. dont ask "why not?" it just wasnt.

The WTF award. I wouldve loled if I was 2 yrs old and thought swearing was funny still.

Lil Wayne is really Lil. yeah, true story.

Miley Cyrus didnt deserve that music award. and is NOT on a boat.

New Moon is going to be AMAZING with a side of OMG I CANT BREATHE.

Keiffer made me lol with his crying. but went overboard.

Ben Stiller is a jew. a really cool jew.

Kristen had a Bella moment. dropping the award. made me lol long time.

Kings of Leon live sounds just like they do on the album. which sucks. so you do the math.

Twilight cleaned up! like I said they would.

Just cause youre dead, doesnt mean youll win an award. no pity points here. *cough The Dark Knight cough*

Robs hot. end of story.



Thats all I can remember, seeing as half way through re-watching the award show my internet disappeared. freakin lame, I know. I didnt even get to see the trailer I already watched ten times online again. And I didnt get to see Rob being Robalicious again. AND I didnt get to see Kings of leon again [thank god].

its early in consideration to what time I went to bed last night [morning] Im off to potato in front of the tv, hoping that the award show will company me while I eat my lunch.

If you still havent seen the show yet, I pretty much filled you in. but if you have:

Tell me what YOU thought of the award show.
Do you think Twilight deserved all those awards? Cause I didnt.
Do you think Megan Fox is NOT a fox? cause I dont.
Do you think Rob is adorable? cause I do.
Do you think that the 360 camera is AMAZING? cause I do
Do you think Eminem will sue? lets place bets.

Xk

ps. want more pics? got em here

I less than three you Sam

Are you sad I missed Creeptastic Thursdays FIRST EVER day?
yeah me too.

Are you lol-ing about the picture to the right?
yeah me too. thank lauren for that.

Are you mad that I dont have much to say in this post today?
yeah me too.

Are you wondering who the hell this bitch-ass Sam person is that left me a comment on my last post strictly saying "whatever" as a comment?
yeah me too.

Well [mr? ms?] "Sam", if you do return, I have only this to say to you: thank you for commenting on my blog with your snarkyness. you pretty much made my night. hells to the yes you did. I dont even care that you were a jag and just said "whatever" so long as you were here, and left a mark. I lol-ed long time. I heart you big time Sam. who ever you may be.

I dont care what youre saying, so long as its about me. its the truth. cause remember what I said ages ago? I dont care what people say. and hate mail only makes me lol, so honestly, keep it coming. I love to laugh and it only makes you look ignorant. pretty much a double win.

Xk

Gettin' Confessional

I like Twilight.
ps. if youre a boy, this post might not be for you. end of story. move along. shoo shoo. but! if it is for you, I love you long time.

go ahead, call your names, for I would have done the same a few months ago. I, too, was a Twi-hater. well you know what bloggers? dont be hatein'.

Twilight is a beautiful book [for girls] I read A LOT. So I think I know what Im talkin about. Ive even had a few guy friends closet read it and eventually [some when drinking] come out and say that it was good.

so now what haters? what? youre a bit more willing to give it a try? yeah, thats what I thought.

So anyway, Im not a "twilighter".
Im not one of those pre-teens [and some adult...*shudders*] you see running about with their twilight books held to their twilight tshirts heart like bibles and talking about Edward Cullen like hes my boyfriend that you want to ring by their ponytails. yeah, they kill me too.
Im not "obssesed" by any means other than I liked the books and I enjoy talking about them with other bloggers from time to time. end of discussion.


story of my [twilight] life:
When my great friend Alli had told me about the book Twilight in class one day I went, "uhm, romance novel...about a teenager vampire in love with a human? yeah, no thanks...sounds....stupid." yes, I pause and do a dot dot dot in real life. end of story. and yes she begged me to read them, knowing my vampire obsession since birth.

this, my blogger friends, is the one of the only times Ive ever been wrong. *cough*

A few months later, I was dragged kicking and screaming to the midnight screening of Twilight by a handful of friends. Alli the ring leader. I saw the film. It was cute. the main charactor is a babe. whatever.

So! after watching and somehow liking the movie, I was willing to give the books a go. and guess what? I now think the film is a disgrace to the novels. period. the way the film was scripted and shot is an insult to me. Its beautiful, dont get me wrong, but there is so much more to these books they could have done! dont even get me started. unless you really want to really really like REALLY know. cause once I start baby, I never stop.


ANYfreakingWAY, long story, I know. But I was thinking before I have my Creeptastic Thursdays, I might telly you WHY I am posting up photos of Robert Pattinson so much. Cause I think hes a "hottie with a body", if you will, and I love it when I come across a sick and nasty picture of him. it makes me kick and giggle. and it shows me that, he as well as I, is only human and can look like a goon too. end of story.

and since Im about to make you lol long time and cringe tomorrow, Ill show you some yummylicious photos I found here

today is the day of a new found holiday known as:
Shirtless Rob Day.

I know what Im asking for christmas....*cough* replace the skank *cough* :]
and why is there a bald head blocking my view?

"uhm, please obviously middle-aged sir, move it or lose it..er...move. seriously."
Uhm...

Errr...

Yeah...end of story.

dont drool too much, you wont want the clean to carpet. believe me...

Xk

Ps. If you must ask, the dots on his face and so on are for adding in the famous Edward Sparkles later on in the editing room. so hush you, he is NOT covered in moles. that would be sick.


Pss. Aunt. Read the flipping post already. click this: A True Love Story

What The Manatee?

So much to tell, so little....ok Ive got plenty of time.

So blogger dot com peeps, whats on the upside? yeah, I can be lame too.

Anyway! When I was on my way to an amazingly small and crusty venue known as Swing State with J to see frantastical music played, I decided [with help from J] that I will now dedicate every thursday to my findings of creeptastical pics of a certain boy you all lust over these days. As well as whatever other celeb/singer/randomer I find that day.

Thursday Blogs are now so graciously named: Creeptastic Thursday.

cause everyone knows thursdays are the best days.

Monday= bad hair day
Tuesday= laundry day

Wednesday= Im never home day

Thursday= Best day of the week day

Friday= I never have time for anything day

Saturday&Sunday= Everyone else is busy Day(s)

So it obviously had to be thrusday. obviously.

And a side dish to my lovely blog: this just happened... at 6:19pm while Im writing this blog. My friend [we will name him later in my blog lifetime] just asked me...after I brought the subject up...what a manatee was. he. has. no. idea. end of story. *facepalms*

Anyway...As you Bloggers kind of should know already. I have a cat. named Jimmy. aka B. whatever. the point is, I have a story I wrote down in my journal a few days ago to share. Its something Jimmy and I had experienced together when I was looking out my front door and feeling insignificant the other morning.

oh and yes. thats him ->

ahem.

"As I held Jimmy in the doorway, letting him take in the fresh air, he looked at me. His green eyes wide and questioning, I answered "Yeah I know, its a big world out there B." he looked out once more and hiccuped."

It was sort of like a gulp of fear hiccup. I wanted to cry. Its as if he knew and was feeling the same exact thing I was. sort of a surreal moment with a cat if you ask me.

Xk

Ps. No Im not some sad lonely spinster with a zillion and 1 cats. I have one cat named Jimmy who I have interesting moments with. end of story.

Pss. Manatee found at exzooberance.com

Psss. Aunt. I am resending that invite to read my post A True Love Story. cause youre lame and wont read it like you said. *pouts*

Pssss. yes I edited this like. 4 times. I actually had typos this time. like. bad ones. yeah.

Cat food, Sex, and Freeze

you know youre hungry when: you open up a can of wet [nasty vomity looking] catfood and for a split of a split second it smelled good in your nose. yeah. Im freaking gross.
Im almost sorry that I feed him this sick goo. but he gobbles it up just fine, so I dont mind. I just tend to sit downwind from it while he eats. s'all good.

And for the record, Jimmys food does not look nearly as sickening as this picture I found on wikimedia. thats vomit worthy even for cats.

Oh! and before my rage cools, If I have to see one more KY Intense Commercial I swear I will flip out. You can almost legally admit me. yeah. So you cant advert cigarettes because thats bad for children to see and want. ok. cool. Soooo. whats the next best thing? Oh I know! lets advertise SEX! wtflip...

Anyway, I was watching the local weather person lie about how its going to be nice out for a change and I noticed her name. Amy Freeze. can we say irony? especially seeing as here in Chicago, it is about 85 degrees out. yep im in shorts and a tank top. and its spring. is this hell on earth? cause I kind of like it.

AND! hold your hats folks, cause Cookie [my horse for you lames that dont know] and I had our first horse show of the year! this past weekend, Cookie did so well. Im so pround I almost cried. plus I was dead tired which is when I tend to get whiney and moany...but still! We placed amazingly in all of our halter classes, even picking up two Grand Champion ribbons! CH-eahhhh! shes amazing, we're amazing. end of story.

Oh and since I havent posted and pics of him lately, here is another creepy picture of the lovely boy you all [want to] know I found on celebuzz.com:

Yeah....he needs to either stop making that face or do that all the time. it made me lol long time.

Xk

Ps. AUNT. A TRUE LOVE STORY. READ. UGH. [scroll down some til you hit pics of Cookie and I]

Pss. isnt it supposed to go pps? whatever.

Psss. Ive no idea where I found the KY picture. and frankly, I dont care. it bothers me. end of.

long time no laughs

I sat down at the computer here, going over my last few posts. Spell checking, flawless I know, as well as looking for new comments [there were none of those either] and all I could conjure up to say was,

"Sooo... that was rather depressing."

Yep, it kind of was. And I was ALMOST about to delete the last post but I decided to hell with hiding it. its who I am and all that mushy gushy stuff we all spill out. No excuses, my gatorade bottle spells out at me. Ive none.

Phases of darkness is over, Im fine now.

Really.

Im fine.

Its ok.

No.

Really.

Stop...

the real question here is: are you fine?

How are you, dearest reader mine? You havent been very chatty these days/posts [or ever] and I was just wondering if you were ok. a girl can wonder cant she? well I do. end of story.

Anyway, The kicks and giggle fits will have to end here for tonight. I know, I know, Im lame, boring, lazy, and whatever other rude names you can come up with too. I embrace them, it s'all good.

I have a good story to tell tomorrow anyhow. so the drum roll isnt needed, as youll be playing a long time. my pillows are calling me!

Xlamek

Ps. aunt, read A True Love Story. its a post about 5 psots down from this one. yeah, Im still on about you. Im about to post your silly "I cant open my eyes" photos. you know I have a few. dont make me do it!

Pss. No pictures! I know Im even so lame I dont have any of those to give tonight. deal with it.

feeling wasted

"I want to change the world, but instead I sleep" - ingrid michaelson

I dont feel like Ive done enough in my life. for my family, my friends, and most of all for me. Im not being selfish, Ive actually been too selfless these years. ive been so worried about making everyone else happy, making everyone elses days go right, that even when I thought about changing course, helping myself out, it felt so selfish that I didnt follow through. I just keep going through the motions of everyone elses days and Im tired of it.

I was just told the other day that "youve only got time to lose" and I realized something while I sat their, parted lips reading outloud over and over again, taking in the harmless words.

My life is being wasted away.

Yeah, Ill happily spend the rest of my days reading every book I can get my fingers on, eating take out, writing every moment in time I feel inspired, and showering only when I feel the need to do so. But I have bigger dreams than that now.

My life isnt being lived to the fullest, hell its not being lived at all in my family's eyes. Im nothing. Im a speck of dust in the whirlwind of society. if I was to disappear, the whirl wouldnt perish. it wouldnt even tilt the slightest bit.

If Kortnii didnt exsist, would anything be different?
well surely different in some small way, but does anyone depend on her? no.
does anyone need her around? no. not really.
the world will move on without her easily, and if anything, easier. I need to change that.

Ive been told that life is like a board game. throw your chances, see where the pieces may lay. You know what I say to that? screw that.

Life isnt a game

life isnt about winning, losing.

Life is about living.

and I havent lived a day yet.

But I will. starting today, I will. And it wont be about the money, the friends, the glitter. its about me. My life is about me. Whoever wants to join me on the way I shall enjoy their company and try my hardest to make my presence the same back, but for right now, I need to get Kortnii figured out before I help anyone else these days.

like I said once before, to hell with trying so god damn hard for everyone else. Im trying for me and those I truly love and those who truly love me.

I know I can make a difference. I will.
I want to change the world, but I havent figured out how. yet.

Xk

Ps. Im not all sorry for my ramblings, for what I have just ranted on about [and hopfully made sense about] will shed light on someone elses life, but I am in a way sorry if you spent all the time reading this post in hopes for the normal laughs and giggles I bring to the world. Another serious post, you ask? yeah yeah, Im not feeling so silly these days. get over it, we all go through phases.

Ps. Aunt, you still havent read A True Love Story, the post I emailed you about a few weeks ago. im starting to think you jsut dont read my emails. I will call you about it [again] tomorrow, dont worry.

shes demanding...something...what?

demanding, I might be at times. sure. Ill admit to it.

Im demanding more time.

more time for me to get my busy butt back online to slave away hour after hour to make another post for you.

IM DOING THIS FOR YOU!

ahem.

this blog is supposed to be fun, and boy will it be fun. I think. .. . . . . where am I?

Oh yes, Im on my second wind of the night, its 12:53am. Ive been awake since around 4am yesterday.

crazy? no.

tired? not really.

will I explain why? sure.

next post.

muhahahahah ahah ahha ha ha....ha. ugh.

Xk

PS. Aunt, youve still not read my True Love Story post. I am ashamed to be your neice [not really, I love you.] but from now on, I shall put a Ps. just for you, until you read said post. so read it. now. this is getting rediculous. end of story.

Motospoon: brainless

My first [and prolly last] motocross post:

yeah, these people are nuts. and I live amoung them.

So my sister, we call her J [long story], she races motocross.

Oh and if youre a guy, this is the time where you go, "wow really? thats hot, is she hot? or is she one of those butch girls, cause thats not hot. shes hot right?"
and this is also the point in time where I smack you in the face.
end of story.

Anyway, I myself am way too scared aware of how dangerous it is to do the motocross thing.

"But Kortnii! Horses are dangerous too!"

I know, I know, horses are dangerous too, but for some odd reason I dont feel threatened by horses nearly as much as I do by motorbikes.
so hush up.

Of all the years shes been racing, oh yeah shes good too, I never really got interested in the theory of it all. and I also never want to see a fellow racer, friend, family member[yeah there are more people I know who do this moto thing], whatever it may be, get physically destroyed on the race track.
Or worse, killed.
it happens.
And I dont want to witness it.

So while I was at home again this weekend, chewing my nails to bits and pieces thinking my sister is in bits and pieces, I got to thinking. . .

If there is one thing to be learned about motocross, or any extreme sport really, its this: When youre willing to crash, youre ready to win.

I am a thinker. yes, truly I am. I over think everything. But for my horse riding, thats actually a good thing. as there are many many many upon many things to be thinking about while upon a horses back.

with motocross, its the exact opposite.

youre only going to allow yourself to be thinking of one thing, J told me, and that is the track. "getting through the next obstacle," as she put it. not the speed, the height, the people around you, not how scared you really are in the back of your mind.
no.
you turn your brain off.
Only the brainless can ride motocross and have a chance to win.
end of story.


Xk

Ps. Yes those amazing photos are of J, my sister.

Pss. Aunt, if you are reading this, the post called "A True Love Story" is the one that I wanted YOU to read. I put off posting a new blog so my "the latest post is the one you want to read" in the email stayed true. sorry! I am impatient. you know this.

A true love story

Since the Kentucky Derby was just on, as well as the Jumper Classic, I have found the time to sit down and tell my own horse story:



The smell of fresh cut grass, hay, muddy leather boots, and two breeds of sweat swirls under my nose. My steed presses onward, to the trail we go. The sky is open, only but a few wisps of clouds are seen. The tree tops are bleeding with baby green leaves, winter is finally over. We embrace the Spring air, my horse and me.

I dont look like a cowgirl, but my heart is always itching for the ride. So what if Im a classic "indie girl" who keeps her hair tidy, her clothes clean, and loves herself a concert beneath the city rapture. So what if Im an aspiring author, so what if im an aspiring actress, so what. No one says you cant do everything and anything you heart desires, its always the other way is it not?

Well Hello, My name is Kortnii, I love horses, music, acting, drawing, writing, reading, and a whole lot of sillyness. its a pleasure to finally meet you.

I got into horses the moment I knew what one was. My Aunt, who is basically my mother to me, had pushed the idea ever so slightly onto me when I was younger than 2. she has two boys, and naturally they wanteed nothing to do with the ponies and were all about the motocycles their father loved. So, it was up to me to be her partner in the world that is horses.

So it started with the occasional leading around the arena when I was only a little sprout. Gifts were always horse related, of course, and I wouldnt complain. I loved horses. But it wasnt really until I was about 13 that I really started getting into riding.

Down the road from my aunts house, somewhere I was rarely away from growing up, was where my Aunt got to keep her new horse. I was in love with him. terrfied of him, but in love the same. but I did not ride him.
No no, he was still in training by Aunt, shes been doing this for years upon years. no. I rode a horse I came to know already, from the old barn I was lead around about as a child. His name was Stevie, the people, family friends at the time, had bought him. long story short, he was there, and was the horse I rode.

He wasnt comfortable, his knees falling about in awkward places, crooked legs, but had a good mind. Enough spunk to have fun on, but enough calm and cool to keep me safe. Stevie, the horse that started it all really. And then I moved onto my first show horse.

Boy was that scary. Finally over being green, My aunts horse Hootie, yes, Hootie was my first show steed. full name Whos My Daddy, for obvious reasons: breeders didnt know who the dad was. Anyway, he was full of himself. My aunt didnt even really want me on him half the time. but I rode proudly.

My first show, the aunt stood shaking with fear and excitment, I, too young to know better, rode Hootie and took two ribbons of 5th place out of 9. I was high with a smile a mile long.

Eventually, worse came to become the worst, Hootie was sold. Too much of a horse for us to show safely. Sorrow filled our eyes, but he was in good hands. I will never regret leaving him though, because one of the most important figures in my life came to me soon after the tears had dried upon my cheeks.

An 18 month old, Dun, Quarter horse filly stood anxiously and unknowingly waiting for our arrival in the make-shift, but nicely finshed, two stall barn/garage somewhere deep into the middle of Wisconsin. Scrapping her freshly polished hooves into the dirt, her ears cocked slighty at the sight of our car pulling into veiw. I took another glance and whispered "Thats her, thats my horse" to myself, but of course my Aunt heard. Cooke Cty Cookie was mine.

We split the cost, Aunt and I, she was $2500 of beauty in my eyes as I lead her into the trailer days after our first meet and greet. I was already bubbling with love, affection, worry, and future expectations of the pair of us in the show ring. We got her home, safe and sound of course, and the two of us, Cookie and I, went into training right away. And I loved every minute of it.

Another show under my belt, but this was Cookies first, came. She was weeks away from turning two, staggering drunk-like across the arena. We come to a halt, both of us shaking with nervousness, but our team work paid off. We won every class we walked into, at halter, and came out Grand Champions at our first show together. A show Ill never forget.

I now playfully toss her old halter onto my bed post once more, the worn purple and gold thing was all she came with, so much smaller than the one she wears today. Ill never forget the day my Cookie and I met.

Shes saved my soul in more ways than can be explained. Shes the reason I get up in the morning at times, the reason I still have dreams. She keeps me sane, even when shes driving me up a wall with her sillyness. I love her more than anything in the world, and thats the honest truth. No one could seperate us, no amount of money, no boy, no amount of stress; nothing.

Cooke Cty Cookie and I were meant to be partners in the horse world. Forever, or for as long as we both shall live.


Xk

Ps. Sure, I can be funny, sarcastic, and sometimes just rather rediculous, but the horse part of my life I dont joke around about as much. Its who I am, and who I always will be. Silly Kortnii will be back next post, for those of you who missed her.

is it really 3am?

as of this sentance, it is 3:30am.

or is my clock lying to me?

Im hoping its all lies

and that I didnt spend another night come morning

waiting for your call
for your voice to cure my fall

waiting to be heard

for you to learn

that I love you

is it really 3am?

or is this just another nightmare?

Xk

Ps. This isnt meant to be a gooey post directed towards anyone, it just came to me while I was sitting in my living room next to my best friend sleeping on the couch after we watched a movie. Or is it? youll never know.

Dont bury me

IM STILL NOT DEAD YET!!!! [good song]

Anyway...

Ok blog spot dot com, blogger dot com, google run blog thingy, whatever, here I am. I know, I know, my absence has brought a virtual [and actual] tear to your blog eyes, but I am back! with more to tell than ever before.

So the main two reasons I was away, [I know youre itching to know] are as followed:

IM BUSY! end of story. for now.

and

The laptop I use had run out of its free trial usage of Mcafee virus protection crap so I didnt dare go online while un-protceted. and was too lazy to download any other software myself in my spare time. sorry for being cheap. whatever

Anyway, do you also wonder how many times I actually say anyway? well alot. end of story. Anyway... what was I up to while I have been away for so long?

1. Trying to get a job. yeah, can we say unsuccesful? its tiresome. Though I may just go to work full time for my photographer friend, but she kills my brain cells with her drama. love her to death! but shes killing me.

2. Training my horse. No Im not a southern kind of girl, I dont even wear cowgirl boots until Im on said horse. I shower, brush my teeth, Im not attracted to my cousins, But I do have a horse named Cookie [youll hear more about her Im sure] and I have been training her myself these days. My Aunt normally does... but she cant seem to fit us into her scedule very often and even when she does get a chance to ride/train my Cookie, the horse wants nothing to do with her. she loves me more, naturally.

3. Trying to move into my own apartment. Which is looking great! and Ill be living as close to my horse as I could possibly get. can you spell excited? E-X-C-I-T-E-D. good job! you can have a cookie later.

4. Ive been kidnapped! I always love to see my close friends as much as possible, but never seem to have the time. so they make time for me! bunch of brats come to my home and take me places on a regular basis it seems. Im not complaing.

5. Ive been writing. yes, as most of you Dont know, I am an aspiring author. novels, hort stories, poems, songs, the works. Ive been way too inspired these days not to take the time to work on my material and turn dreams to ideas, ideas to paper, paper to stories, etc. its been magical.

6. I went to a bridal shower, yeah. tell me about it. you cant? well Ill have to tell you THAT horrific story of a weekend next post.

7. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST [drum rolls] I DYED MY HAIR PURPLE!! yeah, I know, youre jealous.
no, its not my whole head, its just under my bangs/fringe/whatever.
yes I love it.
No you cant copy me by doing a different color.
Yes Im sure.
No its not a compliment to me if you do.
no.
dont.
do.
it.
and yes Its beautiful, ogle below.

no, it does NOT have green on top! the green from my room walls reflected off the shiny-ness of my tresses. so hush you.

Id give the grand details to more of my outings lately, but Ill let your mind rest for now.

Xk

p.s. dont cry, I promise Ill return this time.